Freely Giving

Over the weekend Erik and I went out on a date to celebrate the paying off of our mortgage and as we sat down to dinner I couldn’t help but remember where we were in our lives just two months ago during our last date night. Two months ago we were both… bored. We were restless – knowing that there was something missing from our day to day lives, where was the excitement? Erik was exploring other job opportunities; I was making plans in my head to move our family to another city – was there more excitement somewhere else?

During these few weeks I found myself praying and journaling and calling out to God – what is Your will? What is it You want us to do? And then I would think everything was a “sign” that God was speaking to me through. No wonder I wrote in my journal one day, “How can my heart be so fickle and I ‘feel’ you leading different places by the day; God how can I feel you calling me to one thing one day and another the next”. But it was not God “changing his mind”, it was me who was too busy trying to figure it all out that I failed to sit at My Father’s feet and truly listen.

Bruce Waltke’s book Finding the Will of God: a Pagan Notion opened my eyes to how often I look for God’s will in signs and hunches when I should be drawing closer to Him. The opening pages caught my attention, Waltke says

When I hear Christians talk about the will of God, they often use phrases such as “If only I could find God’s will,” as though He is keeping it hidden from them, or “I’m praying that I’ll discover His will for my life,” because they apparently believe the Lord doesn’t want them to find it, or that He wants to make it as hard as possible for them to find so that they will prove their worth… Is it logical that the God who says He has a plan for each life would conceal that plan so that His work cannot go forward through His people?

Wow! How often in the past have I felt like I had to go “find God’s will”. Waltke even suggests that the term “finding God’s will” may not be the best way to word our desires. He then goes on to explain some historical ways in which people would try divine the mind of God such as through casting lots and how today we often employ similar practices.

The next section of the book moves on to explain how God guides our lives. Waltke goes into great detail with practical advice on how to listen to God’s guidance through His Word, our heartfelt desires, the wise counsel of others, His providence and our sound judgement. I found the chapter on using our judgement interesting for honestly I never thought about the obvious fact that God gave us brains to use to help us make decisions – - sometimes I mistakenly think it has to be more “spiritual” than that.

I think those weeks that I struggled with restlessness I was so focused on “finding God’s will” elsewhere that I failed to see Him in my day to day life and the joy that He brings to each day. I forgot that only by drawing close to God would my heart and desires be molded to His and only then could I live out His will for me.

Filed under: Book references, Giving